What is the best facial hair ever? Rhett and Link will be the first to know.
After revealing the winner of last week's Best Animal Ever: panda bears, Rhett and Link examine facial hair for another Friday best ___ ever. The list, however is non-exhaustive, they say, and are among many options for your best facial hair choice.
To start of the facial hair palooza, Rhett lists a normal "Al from Home Improvement" or "George Clooney" short beard. Then talks about the five o'clock shadow, the beard Link often bears.
Then you've got the long, unkempt, "mountain man/hipster" beard that has recently come to fashion. Rhett goes to quote Albert Einstien, "a mountain man is indistinguishable from a hipster from the neck up."
Now, there's also the crazy beards, the weird sculpted beards that look like windmills, starfish, and all sorts of crazy stuff.
Link, though, asks what Rhett has. Rhett says he has a normal beard, but for the longest time he had a "Chin strap/amish" beard only because Rhett didn't think the mustache and beard would connect.
This "chin strap" leads them right to the "patchy" beard similar to one of Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves's beards.
Rhett then heads to the broad, mustache category featuring, among many others, the standard "Tom Selleck/Magnum-type" mustache. The kind of mustache that you know is there, it's blatant and obvious, it's not going away. But it's not doing anything except being there.
You also have the "horseshoe" mustache that Link sported for the early Rhett and Link years. Link actually thought it was a "fu manchu" until the American Mustache Institute called him out on it and told him it was a "horseshoe." Which brings them to the "fu manchu" that is separated from the "horseshoe" by it's pointy "kung fu" look.
Then you've got the "handlebar" mustache, a mustache blatantly titled for it's handlebar-esque look. Controlling women are especially fond of the "handlebar" mustache, or so Link says.
There's the "pencil" mustache that looks as if someone took a pencil and drew a straight line on your upper lip.
Preteen viewers of Good Mythical Morning probably have "Peach fuzz" which is the flesh-covered fuzz on your upper lip. Rhett sincerely advises eighth grade viewers to shave if you have this. Any facial hair that has a fruit reference is probably bad, Link adds.
Back to beards, there are many beard variations such as the "soul patch" found on most hipsters and electric guitarists from the 90's.
The "goatee", that Link says screams 90's youth volunteer.
The "lambchops", a variation of the sideburn well-known for being found on former president Martin Van Buren.
The "sideburns" which Rhett thinks is not a facial hair, but is instead in it's own category. Link, however, thinks it is a facial hair and is his vote for best facial hair ever.
And lastly, the "infinite" beard that is a "chin strap" that stretches up to the top of your head and back down. This style though, works best on bald people. Ladies don't like it, Rhett claims, but it works effectively for a picture on the internet.
Rhett decides to end the show, following this weird beard, and has Link spin the Wheel of Mythicality, counterclockwise obviously. The episode's ending, as decifered by the Wheel, is "Link Interviews Rhett for a Job."