Clown Shark is a song about a man afraid of clowns and sharks, and even more scared of a combination of the two, the clown shark.


Ever since I was a boy,

I've been afraid of clowns.

Their horrifying faces,

Never failed to bring me down.

The only thing more scary,

Are sharks deep in the sea.

I couldn't touch a swimming pool,

'til I was twenty three.

Still every night I thank,

Each of the stars up in the sky.

There's no such thing as clown sharks,

Out there to make me cry.

A world without that nightmare,

Is a world where I can be,

Happy and relaxed,

In an endless state of peace.


I'm real,

I'm here,

I'm worse than you feared.

I can juggle five balls,

And then swallow a deer.

I'm coming for you from the hell depths beneath.

I've got pancake makeup,

And razor-sharp teeth.

I use big clown shoes,

To chase you on land.

I crush cars with my jaws,

And my giant fun hands.

Oh no, please tell me that this is a trick

Do I look like I'm joking?

Just pray you die quick.

Did that really just happen?

It couldn't have been real.

No creature's ever wanted to,

Honk horns then eat a seal.

There's no such thing as clown sharks,

And those are just the facts.

I'm calming down inside,

And I can finally relax.


I'm scarier than ever,

It's time for you to panic.

My rainbow wig,

Makes me more aerodynamic.

I got big floppy pants,

And black eyes in my head.

Here's a funny balloon,

Shaped like you being dead.

I use my sense of smell,

To locate you in the park.

Then I drove here in a Miata,

Filled with fifteen other sharks.

My jolly red nose,

Is smelling blood in the water.

So step right up for,

A feeding frenzy.

Circus of slaughter

Thank goodness it was only-



  • Written & Directed by: Rhett & Link
  • Co-written by NSP
  • Produced by: Stevie Wynne Levine
  • Shot and Edited by: Benjamin Eck
  • Additional Editing: David Geis
  • Production Coordinator: Kendall Hawley
  • Production Intern: Hezekiah Bennetts
  • Makeup: Lindi Taylor