Link gives Valentine's Day advice for single guys.
After a short plug for the Gregory Bros' app "Songify", Link begins yet another installment of Link's Golden Advice for Single Guys where Link will give single guys advice how to drastically increase the chances of becoming unsinglized this Valentine's Day. He begins by saying Valentine's Day is a holiday that can pressure even unsinglized guys, but it can be the perfect time to show the ladies your love, especially if you are single.
Link's first piece of advice: ladies love to be given attention, they love intrigue, they love mystery. Link's advice rolls all of this into one. Go to your local grocery store, and go to the section for elementary kids. Get the cards where you can get like thirty-two cards with like comic book characters. They don't open, it's more like a flashcard you'd have to give to everyone in your class. Now, assuming you are not in elementary school, more of the high school, college, adult demographic, I want you to go buy these. Devote all of them, one a day, to the girl that you admire, that you want to become your girlfriend. Each one with a compliment that is not related to her physical appearance (i.e., "I like your boots."). You are going to become her secret admirer.
Now, don't hand them to her yourself, she'll know who you are. Plant it somewhere. Maybe the vent in the locker. Better yet, have a classmate hand it to her. Specifically, someone who isn't in either of your circle of friends and is a girl. If you have a guy deliver it, he'll take the credit or reveal it to the whole school. Either will ruin your plan.
As it gets closer to Valentine's Day, also, start to write on the cards how you might like to have a date. The date should probably be on Valentine's Day. When it comes time for the date, don't take her to a fancy restaurant. Take her to a coffee shop or an ice cream parlor. Maybe even let her bring a friend if it puts her at ease. And if she doesn't like you, you've got a second girl who might.
Rhett, while he likes it, isn't so sure there's a big chance it will work. As a Plan B, if it doesn't work, for the last card, on Valentine's Day. Set it up so that she catches you in the act and finally sees you. Be ready to be like, "Hi.... [insert girl name here]." Link condones it.
The episode ends with a counterclockwise spin of the Wheel of Mythicality that tells Rhett to "Thank Teresa for Watching in a Radio Voice." Since they don't know who Teresa is, they say if your name Teresa, it's personal.