|The Dog Curse|
|Season One, Episode Twenty|
|Air date||February 6, 2012|
Best Cereal Ever
Woman Robs Store w/ Curling Iron
Rhett's not to sure about getting a dog.
On today's Good Mythical Morning, Rhett tells Link how over the weekend he family dogsat a Great Dane named Waldo and a Golden Retriever named Gus for their friends Nick and Allison. He talked about how Waldo was very big compared to his tall 7 year old and how the two dogs slept in the house. Particularly, Waldo, who has to have a blanket put on him when he goes to sleep. Rhett says they put the dogs to sleep early and once the kids are asleep at like 9, Waldo comes out, walking around with his blanket on him, looking like he has some sort of royal coat on him. The dogsitting went great.
But the whole reason they did this, Rhett says, is because his wife and two kids [Locke and Shephard] want to put the pressure on daddy to get a dog. Now that they've moved to California and have a house with a backyard, they think it's time to complete the family and get a dog. He says, his wife has been texting and emailing him pictures of dogs and going on adoptive websites looking at dogs. Rhett's stance, however, is he loves dogs, but the reason he doesn't want a dog is because he's cursed. Rhett continues, saying his track record with dogs in the past leads him to believe that it's just not a good idea.
He then tells us a couple of quick stories. First off, the first dog Rhett ever owned as a kid back in Buies Creek, Sandy, ran away. Rhett and his family never did anything wrong, he just simply ran away.
Then the second dog they got, Beauty, ran away too. One day, he says, they went to pick peaches off a peach orchard and everyone was like, "Let's let Beauty run around! She loves peaches!" Apparently she loves them so much, she stayed there and they could never find her again. Rhett was heartbroken both of these times they rand away, but they never got another dog as a family until he got married to his wife, Jessie.
At this instance, Rhett found a puppy in the woods while he was working, Gypsy, they called her. So they adopted Gypsy, took care of her, and, she wasn't a real pretty dog, but they loved her. She grew up to be about a year old. Now, they were down at the beach, with Rhett's wife's parents. Gypsy's there, she jumps the fence. Rhett, all of a sudden hears, "SCREECH! TIRE!". They go out side, the dog is dead. Jessie is pregnant with their first child at the time, completely emotionally unstable. She cried for a week! They bury the dog and have a very solemn funeral thing.
Then, a couple of years later, Rhett's inlaws' dog has puppies, the birth of which Rhett has on video. Anyway, Rhett names one of the puppies Merle. They adopt Merle and have him for a little bit.
Seperately from this, Rhett gets to know some friends, Lance and Lacie. They spent some time in Egypt, where they adopted two dogs of this special Egyptian breed. Their plan was to come back to the States, breed these two dogs and sell this special breed of dog in the United States. One of the dogs tragically dies in a leash-choking incident, which, by the way, Rhett was not involved with. So, now they're down to one dog, this special Egyptian dog named Chantilly. Now Lance and Lacie are traveling to Turkey and ask Rhett to take care of their dog. They keep the dog in the backyard of their house in Fuquay Varina. Chantilly and Merle are getting along really well. But Chantilly's a little bit of an acrobat and she can open the gate and get out the gate. It happened like two or three time and they kept having to get them and bring them back in the yard. It gets a lot worse, though.
They had Chantilly for about a week and, one morning, about three or four days in, the dogs are gone. Rhett goes out all through the neighborhood and tries to find them. He's going like inbetween peoples' houses and yards. And then Rhett sees Chantilly dead. Completely untouched, not looking like he had been hitten by a car, just looking like she had fallen asleep and died right there. Then a few feet from Chantilly, Rhett finds Merle also dead the same way. Link is extremely surprised by this. Rhett tells him he thinks they were poisoned somehow. But that's still not the worst of it. Now Rhett has to call their friends on their Turkey trip to tell them that their dog died under his care. Rhett gets them up on the phone, "Hi, how are you guys doin'?"
"Oh, we're doin' great, Turkey's awesome!"
"Hey, look, I've got something very serious to tell you... Chantilly and Merle got out of the gate, and got into some kind of poison and are both dead."
Silence. They took it incredibly well. The moral of the story is: all of the dog that Rhett has ever cared for, by no fault of his own, died. Doesn't matter, Link says, though. You're gonna lose. You'll get a dog. Rhett just soaks it in, as Link spins the Wheel.
The Wheel tells them to "Shout-Out to Librarians" in a very weird way to end the show.